About Me

My photo

Judy Lair is a licensed counselor and owner of Counselorplace Christian Counseling. She is the author of “From the Other Side of the Couch: A Biblical Counselor’s Guide to Relational Living.” Judy’s personal struggles with fear led her through the valley of hurt and sorrow. She now embraces a joy-filled life grounded in God’s truth and freedom in Christ. Judy uses her professional counseling expertise to tell stories that help people find healing and freedom. Her vulnerable, godly approach helps people find courage to move from Fear to Freedom. For more information or speaking requests, email JudyLair@counselorplace.com or sign up for blog posts at http://judylair.blogspot.com

 “Freedom is attainable. Trust me, I’ve been on the anxiety side, gone through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and now I’m praising God, eating at the banqueting table, and helping others make the same journey. Whether you find yourself stuck in anxiety, disappointment, grief, or confusion, your heart can be set free.” Judy Lair, “From the Other Side of the Couch.”

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Living Messages



“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” Neil Postman

Today I spent time with a group of Christian mental health professionals and the topic of generational limiting beliefs came up. From the time Adam and Eve left the garden, their outlook on themselves, each other, and God became the beliefs they handed down to their children. Their children received distortions which affected their relational understandings with their own children. And so on and so on.

It breaks my heart to hear inaccurate messages my counseling clients received from their parents and representatives of God. “Your worth depends on how others view you.” “It’s selfish to consider your own needs.” “You always have to turn the other cheek and let others walk all over you.” In response, many folks create vows which limit their ability to prosper. “I can’t ever do anything right.” “Nobody will ever care about me.” “I’m such a disappointment to God.”

These messages get installed deep in our soul and cloud the vision God has for our life. Instead of living a bold and courageous life, our beliefs bring fear and timidity. We model this lifestyle for our children and their perfectionism results in guilt and despair.

What messages did you receive that God wants to correct? What messages are you installing and beliefs you are modeling to those in your life today? Commit to wrestling with your belief systems. Whether your foundational beliefs came from parents, pastors, teachers, or friends, there will be distortions and we need God’s truth to separate the wheat from the chaff.


Photo courtesy of www.believersbrain.com

Monday, May 16, 2016

Random Acts of Kindness


‘Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.’ Luke 6:38

Thank you to the unknown couple who selflessly bought my breakfast this morning! I woke up in a great mood, feeling blessed and joyful. After an early morning appointment, I stopped into my favorite restaurant for breakfast.

“What can I get you?” Debbie asked in a flat, bored voice.

“Good morning!” I said enthusiastically. Debbie looked a bit startled at my response.
After giving my order, I pulled out a book and sipped rich, flavorful coffee. The restaurant was quiet mid-morning. Two tables up a couple packed up their to-go boxes, walking past me without a word as they left the restaurant.

The book was awesome and breakfast was yummy. After my third cup of coffee, I asked Debbie for a box and the check.

“You don’t owe anything. The couple who left paid for your breakfast,” she replied.“

“What a blessing! I love it,” I said gratefully. Again, Debbie looked started at my response.

“Well I absolutely want to bless you as well,” I told her as I handed her a large tip. Debbie’s entire demeanor changed.

“I guess we’re all blessed today,” she said cheerfully.

How awesome it is when folks give from God’s abundant heart. I have no idea whether this couple were Christians. But I have no doubt God moved their heart to bless me this morning. While I was the recipient of their generosity today, I believe God will bless them with this same measure tomorrow.

I aspire to live a generous life, staying open and available to hear from God on how to bless others. This worldview allows me to express genuine thanks when I’m on the receiving end and excitedly look for a way to share the blessing I’ve been given. I was thankful to be able to share my heart with Debbie in a way that gave testimony to God’s goodness.

What is your story of giving and receiving?